Heart's Dispute
by Falling Cinders
Summary: Wow... so finally I decided to continue this (added chapter 5, in other words). This story is *supposed* to be Yuuhi x Aya but some chapters are very... Tooya x Aya. I promise that'll change now. ^^;;; I also changed the format of ch. 1-4.
1. Confused Emotion

Disclaimer: I sadly don't own any of these characters T.T; they all belong to Watase Yuu-san ^^;; This story takes place after the TV series AND after the unshow death of Tooya ^^ Yuuhi, Aya, and Aya's daughter are all living together now in a house on the island where the series ended (this takes place two years after the ending) o.O;; Yuuhi's living with her to keep her safe and watch over her like he always said he would ^^  
  
  
  
She was crying again. He knew it. "Aya...." he breathed the name painfully.  
  
She didn't know what she did to his heart. She never seemed to understand the pain she caused him everytime she broke down like this. Why couldn't she get over him? 'Why!? I'm here for her.... But does that even matter to her...?'  
  
He slowly made his way into her room. Sure enough, he found her crouched near her bed, sobbing. He felt as if his heart had shattered into a million pieces. He quietly walked over to her to embrace her. Oh, how he needed to hold her in his arms.  
  
As if an unknown force had prompted her to look up, she did. Her eyes steadied themselves on him. "Yuu... hi," she whispered wiping away her tears. "Gomen ne, Yuuhi.... I told myself that I wouldn't cry over him any more... but the tears just don't seem to stop flowing...." She forced a weak smile on her face.   
  
He couldn't take it anymore. He gently wrapped his arms around her tightly, embracing her. This act elicited a choked gasp from her.  
  
"It's all right, Aya.... I'll always be here for you...."   
  
With that, Aya buried her head into Yuuhi's chest and sobbed freely.  
  
Yuuhi never hated anyone as much as he hated Tooya now. 'This is all his fault. It's all HIS fault that Aya is like this.' He had broken her.... 'That bastard broke her....'  
  
He softly stroked her beautiful, silky hair as he pulled her closer to him, protectively. Whenever he held her like this, he felt as though she was his. Almost as though she was returning the burning love that he felt for her. That he would always feel for her.  
  
After what seemed like a time too short for Yuuhi, Aya pulled away from him. She looked into his eyes before speaking. "Yuuhi... arigato.... I feel better now," she stood up and sat on her bed. "I know that you'll always be here for me...."  
  
Yuuhi smiled at her before getting up to exit her room. "You sure you're all right, ne? You're not gonna go back to crying a river, right?"  
  
Aya felt a smile creep over her face as she shook her head. "I'm all right...!"  
  
As she rested her head against her soft pillow, she contemplated her thoughts. Her feelings. 'I truly am all right, thanks to you, Yuuhi. Even though Tooya's gone forever.... Even though he's never coming back to me... deep down, I knew I wasn't completely alone. No matter how lonely I felt at times, I knew that you were always there for me. Watching me; protecting me.... Sometimes I wish that I could have returned your love. Don't misunderstand... I DO love you, Yuuhi.... It's not the same love that I felt--that I FEEL for Tooya, but I always, ALWAYS loved you....'  
  
She cocked her head to gaze at the small form, sleeping in a crib located next to her bed. 'You are the only bond I have left with him....' She reached into the crib, taking a small hand into her own. She looked at her daughter lovingly. "You are my eternal bond with Tooya...." she whispered to the stirring figure. She gently stroked her beloved daughter's cheek. 'You're the reason for which I live.... You are the present that he left me....'  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Ahh!!! This seriously sucked, didn't it? -_-; It was just something I kinda thought of on a whim ^^; Please refrain from flaming me o.O;;; I doubt I'll finish this seeing as I'm probably gonna be flamed for such crappy writing O.o;;; I couldn't do Watase Yuu-san's beautiful characters' justice -_-;;;; 


	2. Daughter of Mine

Disclaimer: And I STILL don't own Watase Yuu's wonderful characters ^^;; Please refrain from suing me as I have nothing anyway o.O;; O yea, and I changed the setting from one year to two years so that the story would flow more easily ^^; Sorry for the inconvenience! ^^;;;;;  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Aya carefully placed her two year old daughter, Miku, back into her crib, smiling at her lovingly. "If your dad could see you now, he'd be so happy...", she softly whispered to the sleeping child. She quietly tiptoed out of the room as to not awaken the girl.  
  
She leaned against the wall adjacent to her room and sighed to herself. 'I still miss you, Tooya.... I just can't seem to get over you now matter how hard I try. No... do I even WANT to get over you?' She clasped her hands and pressed them against her chest, frowning. 'I don't ever want to forget you, Tooya.... Maybe if I continue loving you forever, despite the fact that you're not here with me anymore--'  
  
"In a way, you'll always be with me...." she unconsciously finished aloud.  
  
"He will always be in your heart, won't he?" Yuuhi asked her in a hushed tone. He was leaning on the wall opposite of Aya, hands stuffed in his pockets. His bangs covered his sad visage from Aya's view.  
  
Aya was at a loss of words. 'So he was here all along. I should have known....'  
  
"Yes, I can't ever forget him.... I'd never ever forgive myself if I even misplaced one memory of the moments that I shared with him," she closed her eyes and tied to stop the new batch of tears which were beginning to form in the corner of her eyes, "he'll always be in my heart, no matter what."  
  
Yuuhi and Aya both continued to stare down at the floor as if a force was drawing them in deeper and deeper into its very soul.  
  
The awkward silence was finally broken as the ring of the telephone went off.   
  
Yuuhi entered the main room to answer the phone, leaving Aya to wallow in her pain.  
  
She made her way back into her room. Once again, she lifted the love of her life into her arms and sat in the rocking chair near her bed.  
  
'Miku.... How I love you so.... It's been one year since Tooya left me.... No, since he left US. He loved you, you know, my little Miku. One day, you'll grow up and have to accept--to FACE--the cruelty of this world. I found out that life is unfair.... and one day, you will as well, Miku.Perhaps not to the extent that I have suffered.... The same pain that Tooya... Aki... and Yuuhi have suffered... but it will still be there.... Pain will always be there... waiting for you.... But I'll always... always be here for you, Miku. So you don't have to worry about a thing....'  
  
"You... don't... have to worry, Miku...." she pressed her face against Miku's small body to try and drown out the deep sob that had managed to escape from her throat. "Miku...."  
  
The young girl placed her small hand on her mother's cheek, an inkling of fear glowing from within her eyes. "Mama...."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Eh.... I kinda hope this story is getting better o.O;; This will hopefully turn out as a bit of a YuuhixAya match (not TOO apparent; much to my dismay, Aya really DID love Tooya... although I don't see WHY ^^). Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading this and again, I hope this is actually GOING somewhere O.o;; 


	3. The Phone Call

Disclaimer: Honestly, why would you be reading an Ayashi No Ceres fanfic if you didn't know who originally created this magnificant work of art? o.O;; This chapter is basically about a phone call from a certain someone ^^; This chapter is a bit longer than the first chapters o.O;; And it's only a phone call! O.o;; Ionno how it turned out that way, but it did. Anyway, enjoy! ^^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yuuhi sat down on the sofa in the living room, holding the phone in his hand. "Onne-san?"  
  
"Hai, Yuuhi. How's Aya doing?" the woman on the other end of the phone immediately questioned him with a hint of worry in her voice.   
  
Yuuhi remained silent. He didn't know whether or not Aya WAS all right. 'Sometimes she seems as though she'll be all right. But then... other times she just breaks down and acts as though she's all alone.... She can be such an enigma at times....'  
  
The silence said it all.  
  
"I see.... Perhaps it would be better for her if...."   
  
"If?"  
  
"If she come stay with us for a while.... It might be better for her if she were to be around people that she is familiar with," Suzumi concluded.  
  
"With you and Q-san?"  
  
"Of COURSE with us! You sure are slow, Yuuhi."  
  
"Oi!!!" he protested, seeing red.  
  
"Anyway, ask Aya and see if she agrees. I truly think that this will be best for her. She might even have a good time here and manage to take her mind away from... Tooya."  
  
The very mention of THAT name was enough to enrage Yuuhi. "I'll be sure to ask her, onne-san."  
  
"Yuuhi? Who is that on the phone?" a familiar voice asked from behind Yuuhi.  
  
"Aya...!" Yuuhi nearly dropped the cordless phone that he held in his hand.  
  
"Gomen.... Did I startle you?"  
  
"Not really.... It's just been a long time since I've seen you in daylight. I just forgot how you looked in the view of the light, that's all!" he light-heartedly teased her.  
  
Aya couldn't help but suppress a chuckle at his half-joke. "Who's on the phone?" she asked again, remembering her present question.  
  
"Suzumi," he quickly answered, handing her the phone. "Here."  
  
Aya took the phone in her hand and held it to her ear, letting the soothing sound of Suzumi's voice calm her beating heart.  
  
"Aya, have you been all right?"  
  
"I've been fine, Suzumi-san. Thanks to Yuuhi," she turned to him and flashed him one of her now rare, tender smiles. Yuuhi blushed in reply. It had been several years now, but she still had that effect on him.  
  
"You've been eating well and everything, right? You'd better look fit to me or else Yuuhi will be in for it when the three of you come stay with us next week," the woman chided.  
  
"Stay with you?" Aya asked in a quizzical tone.  
  
"Hai; you, Yuuhi, and Miku are coming to stay with us next week. And I will take it as a personal insult if you refuse."  
  
Aya's mouth gaped open. She knew there was no arguing with Suzumi once her mind had been made up. It was useless. Plus, it wasn't like Aya didn't WANT to see Suzumi and Q-san. She missed them from the bottom of her heart, but she wasn't too content in them witnessing the pain that she was still going through.   
  
"All right, Miku and I will come stay with you and Q-san."  
  
There was a sudden yelp from the other side of the phone.  
  
"Suzumi-san? What's going on?"  
  
Yuuhi sat straight up. "What's wrong, Aya?"  
  
"Aya-san!"  
  
"Eh? Q-san!" she cried happily. Although she had to admit that Q-san could be slightly annoying at times, Aya had begun to miss the sound of her voice. She flinched as she heard yelling in the background. 'Suzumi-san sure is in a huff now....'  
  
"So you're coming to stay with Suzumi-sama and me for a while? That's wonderful news!"  
  
Aya laughed at the remark. The sound of her laughter was like music to Yuuhi's ears. He had missed that laughter so much; he had even begun to wonder is he would ever hear her carefree laughter again.  
  
"So you and Yuuhi have been living together for a while.... Has anything... interesting happened yet?"  
  
"NANI YO!?" Yuuhi cried as he grabbed the phone out of Aya's hand. "I thought I told you NOT to ask STUPID questions like that!"  
  
"Yea, Q-san! We wouldn't do anything of the sort! We're not like that!" Aya turned beet red. 'Besides... the only one for me is Tooya....'  
  
"Gomen ne! I just thought that seeing as you two were--" the original caller claimed the use of the phone.  
  
"I apologize for Q's brashness, Aya."  
  
"It's all right...."  
  
"I hope to see you and your child in good health, Aya. We've got to go now, but it won't be long before I'll be able to speak to you in person. Good bye! And tell Yuuhi that I said 'good bye' to him as well!"  
  
"All right. Good bye, Suzumi-san!" she pressed the 'end call' button on the phone and Yuuhi took it from her her hands, setting it back in it's rightful place atop the counter.  
  
"Gomen ne, Aya! I don't know why Q-san said that but I didn't have anything to do with it!" he inched away from her, expecting her to slap him like old times.  
  
"I know, Yuuhi. Q-san is just like that, that's all. So... what's for dinner tonight?" she asked, trying to divert Yuuhi from the current subject.  
  
Although Yuuhi sensed what Aya was trying to do, he was glad that her appetite had returned. "Anything you want!"   
  
Aya smiled once again and turned toward her room. "I'll go ask Miku-chan what she wants!"  
  
Yuuhi returned the smile. "I doubt she'll tell you what she wants, though. You know how stubborn she is," he joked, grinning. Talking with her like this, made him feel as though everything was back to normal. 'Like how things USED to be before this whole mess occured. I realize only now how much I wish that things could be the way they were before.... Even if it meant having to accept Ceres... and even Tooya again, I wouldn't mind as long as I could have the Aya I came to love, back....'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's note: Not TOO much longer than the other chapters, but I have to say that it's an improvement ^^;; The chapters were't really meant to be LONG chapters in the first place so, yknow ^^;;; I'll really try and make the chapters longer but I can't really promise anything vv;; Since the first two chapters were a bit angsty, as you can see, I made this chapter a bit more light-hearted ^^ Hope you people enjoy. Read and review, please! ^^;; 


	4. Memories Etched in Sand

Disclaimer: Characters are property of Watase Yuu-san, blah blah. You should know the drill by now ^^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yuuhi quickly made his decision as he wound his fingers around Aya's wrist, pulling her back.  
  
"Yuuhi?"  
  
"This time... let me bring Miku out."  
  
A sense of surprise passed through Aya's mind. "You want to bring Miku out?"  
  
"That's what I said, isn't it?"  
  
'Why does he suddenly want to bring her to me? I know that they have an unusually strong bond... even though Yuuhi isn't her father or anything.... But why do I feel as if this time, his intention is... different?'  
  
Aya nodded in agreement. "I don't see... why not."  
  
"Arigato," he said under his breath.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Nothing...."  
  
Yuuhi walked into Aya's room in painfully slow steps. He lifted Miku into his arms and cradled her gently. She always managed to bring a smile to his face with her childish smile. 'I suppose children are SUPPOSED to be... childish,' he though ammusedly. 'Even though you're not really my child... I love you as though you were my own. Even if you are partly Tooya's child... that doesn't change the way I feel for you in the least. Because... no matter what, you'll always be Aya's child as well... and I will forever love Aya. Even if my love can't be--won't be requited, it makes no difference to me. Aya is special, and she will always have my heart.'  
  
Aya peered into her room to witness the event, careful not to make a peep.  
  
Yuuhi softly tickled the young girl, causing squeals of happiness to escape from her small lips. Yuuhi also smiled, accompanying the girl's blissful state. After a few moments of giggling, Miku lifted up her small hands to Yuuhi's face, a happy smile engraved on her face. She hugged his chest and closed her eyes, nuzzling against him. "Papa."  
  
Aya gasped. "Miku.... What did you say...? Miku...."  
  
"Aya!?" the sound of her gasp had caused Yuuhi to figure out that Aya had seen and heard the whole thing.  
  
Aya looked into her daughter's velvet eyes. "Miku! What did you say!?"  
  
"Aya!" Yuuhi set Miku down and clutched Aya by the shoulders, trying to calm her down.  
  
"This man isn't your father!!!" she screamed.  
  
Miku looked up at her mother in confusion and fear. "Mama?"  
  
Aya slowly fell to her knees, hugging herself. "Yuuhi isn't your father! He will never be your father, Miku!"  
  
Yuuhi felt as though a sword had been plunged deep into his chest. A sword which was wielded by his beloved Aya. 'It's true.... No matter how much I try and kid myself, I will never be this girl's father.'  
  
Miku flung her arms around her mother, hugging her tightly. She sensed her mother's pain. "Mama!"  
  
Tears spilled down Aya's face. Yuuhi stooped down to his knees and placed his hand under Aya's chin, forcing her to look up at him. "You're right, I can never be her father."  
  
Aya instantly stopped crying and looked up at Yuuhi.  
  
"No matter HOW much I kid myself! No matter HOW much I wish for it! Miku will never be my real daughter!"   
  
"Yuuhi...."  
  
"How do you think that makes me feel!? Do you know how much I hurt? Do you even care!?"  
  
"What... are you saying, Yuuhi?"   
  
"I'm saying that I would have never left you like he did! I love you, even now! And I'm here for you, Aya! I'm here for YOU! Why can't you acknowledge that?" Yuuhi was no longer in control of his speech or actions. "He was wrong for leaving you! But I would NEVER leave you, Aya. Because I TRULY love you! I said that to you before didn't I!?"  
  
He swiftly leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. Her eyes widened in shock as she attempted to push him back. Her attempt was in vain, however, for he was still much too strong for her to overpower. Finally, she managed to pull away from his grasp.  
  
"What do you think you're doing!?" she screamed squeezing her eyes shut.  
  
"Aya! I know that you will probably love me back as I love you now; as I have always loved you. But it doesn't matter to me. As long as I know where my feelings stand... it doesn't matter...." his feeling of resentment for Tooya began to flood his heart. "I really hate Tooya. Do you want to know why?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Because that bastard left you. He said that you'd be happy, didn't he? He vowed that he'd never make you cry ever again! That fuckin' bastard lied to you! To me! Look at you, Aya! You're miserable! Because of him, your soul is dying!"  
  
//SLAP//  
  
Anger flowed through every nerve of Aya's body. "How can you say that!? What did you know about Tooya!?"  
  
Warm tears slid down Miku's face as she tugged at the hem of Aya's dress. "Mama, stop...." The young child didn't like this. She didn't like this at all.  
  
"You never knew him like I did!" she closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. "Tooya... and Aki...."  
  
"Aya...."  
  
"How could you understand!? You've never lost someone whom you held dear to your heart!" her eyes shot open and she found herself wishing that she could take back her words.  
  
"I've never lost anyone that I held dear to me...?"  
  
"Yuuhi.... I didn't mean--" her sentence was cut off by Yuuhi's next comment.  
  
"Then the death of Chidori was for nothing, ne? Do you think that you're the only person that lost a loved one in that STUPID search for the hagoromo?"  
  
It was now Aya's turn to comfort Yuuhi. She gently placed her hand on Yuuhi's arm. "Gomen.... I don't know what caused me to say that.... I'm not the only one that lost someone they loved. In a way, we all lost someone important to us."  
  
Yuuhi carefully looked up at her with sad eyes. "Was Tooya THAT important to you? Is it so impossible for you to forget about him and move on with your life?"  
  
Aya silently looked downward, wordless. She finally spoke, her voice filled with both pain and understanding. "He was important to me. So important.... Even though I knew that he had to die.... Even though I knew that we couldn't BE a 'happy' family.... I still wished.... And for a while, I think we were happy...."  
  
Her eyes began to glisten with determination, "No, we WERE happy. That's why I never wanted for that life to end. For a while, I naively believed in it. Believed that my fairy tale life would never come to an end. That was foolish of me, wasn't it...?"  
  
Yuuhi frowned and faced the ceiling, "Of course not. Wanting to live a carefree life, that's normal. How could I find that strange? It was what I wanted as well... It's what we all wanted...."  
  
Aya's thoughts whirled in her mind. She thought of all the lives which had been lost due to her selfishness. "Chidori... Miori... Otousan... Aki... A...ki...." she choked out.   
  
"They're all gone. Dead because of ME! If I had thought even for a second that my death would have allowed them to go on with THEIR lives, I would gladly have died!"  
  
Yuuhi stumbled backward. He hadn't expected such an outburst. What had gotten into her all of a sudden? What did she _mean_?  
  
"Don't you understand how guilty I feel!?" she cried turning her back toward him.  
  
"What are you TALKING about?" he demanded placing his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"... I would have DIED for them.... But Tooya... I wanted to live for Tooya! So that I could see him again! I would have done and given anything to know that he was all right! To know what he was thinking.... To know what he was FEELING. That's why I lived. I knew that if I had just died, Ceres wouldn't be able to use my body to complete her will! I was so selfish and stupid!"  
  
"You're wrong! If you had died, I--" he stopped himself from continuing any further. This wasn't about him.  
  
Aya kneeled down and grasped her daughter, dragging her closer to her own self. Miku returned the embrace, her desperate wails, now calm.  
  
***   
  
"He's dying...? No, it's not TRUE! Shut up!!!" Aya cried squeezing her eyes shut as she ran out of the room, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She ran until her legs would no longer carry her. Before she knew it, she had run outside, to be in the presense of the sea. She collapsed unto the soft sand with a quiet 'thud'.  
  
'Dying? Tooya... dying? Haha, ludicrous! That's impossible! What an utterly foolish thing to say! Yuuhi... baka... Why did you have to say that.... Why did you say something like that.... Why!!' Aya's mind screamed for answers.   
  
She looked over the beauty of the tan shores, savoring the sight of the deep cerulean waters as they washed over the sand. The sea brought her the tiniest hint of comfort. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of the sea. The gentle breeze dried up her tears, only to be once again replaced. She gathered her legs and placed her head on her lap.   
  
"Aya!!!" Yuuhi called her, running over to her side.   
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Tooya, Miku, and I used to come here every single afternoon just before the sun set.... We'd watch it together, just the three of us...."  
  
"... Aya...."  
  
She smiled as she buried her head deeper into her lap. She cocked her head to the side to face Yuuhi.  
  
"I'm being stupid.... Using past tense.... "Used to".... No, not used to. We always have... we always will..."  
  
Yuuhi remained silent as the wrenching pain in his chest only increased with every word that Aya breathed. Her illusions which were blinding her from reality--the truth that Tooya could no longer live much longer--was killing her. And it was killing him as well.  
  
"Always...."  
  
  
  
  
  
AU: Whatever, this was yet another one of my short chapters. I could have extended it, but if I did, I would probably have gotten bored and just not finished it x.x Just be glad I got this far, seeing as I'm dealing with a lotta homework and etc. right now. 


	5. Heartfelt Goodbye

***  
  
  
  
Aya sat, blanketed in the warm and golden sand as she stared at her lover. "Tooya..." she smiled at him as she placed her hand over his own. Her eyes scanned the beautiful view of the ocean and she let out a quiet sigh. O, how happy she was to be together with her Tooya and Miku. "I missed coming here together with you, Tooya," she giggled like a young schoolgirl as she smiled at her 1-year old toddler who was currently busy trying to catch the sandcrabs before they could scatter away. "Don't go off too far, Miku-chan!" She warned the girl as she began to wander off further and further away from their resting spot. "What am I saying? She can barely even walk; she's so young... But it feels as though she's growing so fast... Most babies can barely stand up at the age of 1 year... right?" Aya let out a lighthearted breath.  
  
"Miku's special," Tooya's husky voice tested the air. He had meant that. Miku was a part of him, and the only human part of him at that. "She's special..." And so she was, with all that was said and done, a descendant of a Tennyo; perhaps the most beautiful and complicated Tennyo of all. 'The fact that she has MY blood... that is, before I became a mortal--running through her body is only helping in accelerating her motor skills and mental development.'  
  
  
  
Tooya slung his arm around her shoulder and pressed her closer to his body, enjoying the warmth she was providing him. "It's cold," he finally breathed out, with a slight cough. He hugged his own body, but upon looking at Aya's anxious expression, he closed the space that was left between them, with a kiss.  
  
Aya felt her own body melt as she dwelved deeper and deeper into the heated touch. She felt a burning blush creep up over her face as she finally broke the kiss. She turned her head forward and cried out to the calm wind in a playful voice, "I, Aya, will forever love Tooya until the skies break and... all the birds decide to lose their sense of flight and fall down to the ground! ... All at the same time too!"  
  
"Ah, that just reminded me," his voice suddenly sounded much weaker and hoarse with only a tint of amusement surrounding its wearied edges. "This..."  
  
"What, Tooya? What is it?" she caught the blinding shimmer of light as he pulled it out of his pocket. "It's... It's beautiful...!"  
  
He held out a beautiful white gold locket in plain view. Embedded into the silvery cover was the image of a small white dove, which had been carved out of ivory. "I've been meaning to give this to you for quite some time. I guess I just never got around to it..."  
  
"Locket... what's inside?" Aya inquired as she poked at it with her index finger.  
  
Tooya let out a chuckle as he handed it to her. "You open it, Aya."  
  
Anticipating what picture the locket would hold within, she slowly cracked it open and looked inside. "Hm?"  
  
A graceful looking profile of Aya smiling, laced with a gleeful grin on the face of Miku, glazed the two halves of the inner walls of the small, scallop-shaped locket. "I love it... It's so beautiful, Tooya. Thank you."  
  
"The perfect love," he explained to her flipping the locket onto its back. "The ivory dove represents an eternal peace. Peace of the mind, soul, and body. And the shell... well, I don't need to explain that one, do I?"  
  
"I _love_ it, Tooya... But... how come a picture of you isn't included inside? There should be a picture of you and Miku-chan in here, not me and Miku-chan," she questioned him, a worried look prying its way onto her delicate face. "If it's the "perfect love," the perfect family... It should be you and Miku-chan... I'm gonna be the wearer of this locket, remember? People might think I'm awfully concieted if they see me wearing such a pretty locket with a picture of ME in it."  
  
"It can't be me, Aya." After all... perfection was a mar in itself.  
  
"Why?" Came the simple, one-word inquiry.   
  
Aya waited for her solemn reply. One that would never come. Unknowingly, silver tears streaked its way down her face, and dripped onto the clean, tan sand. She lifted her hand up to her face and wiped a lone tear from under her eye. "Huh...? Why am I crying? I don't feel sad... but the tears just won't stop." She forced out a laugh as she wiped at her wet face with the back of her hand. She looked down at the white gold locket which was now held tightly within her grasp. She gave it a quick squeeze. "I'm happy, Tooya. Happy when I'm with you. That I get to _be_ with you like this. When you smile and say to me "I love you," my heart feels as though it's going to shatter and become whole all at once. Being loved is simple... but loving someone is hard and at times, painful. But as much as it hurts... I just can't help myself. Does that sound... a bit silly?"  
  
Tooya let out a pained sigh and closed his eyes, trying to bask in the warm sunlight which had already stopped providing him with any sense of warmth for quite some time. For him, it was the exact opposite of what Aya had said about love. 'Being loved isn't at all simple... and neither is loving. It's all painful because eternity just doesn't exist. I'm sorry, Aya. As much as I myself wish to lead the life of a "fairytale" family... it just won't happen.'  
  
"Ee..." was the only silent sound that escaped from his lips.  
  
"Mama! Papa!" Miku's shrill and childlike voice echoed through the cool air which smelled of salt. "Look!" she cried in joy as she waddled over in a goose-like manner to the two of them, grasping in her hand, a substance which emitted a shiny light in the view of the sun.  
  
"Miku-chan? What is it?" Aya asked kneeling in front of Miku, looking curiously at her tiny fisted hand, which concealed a hidden treasure.  
  
Miku victoriously held out her right hand, and on her face, was plastered a big and silly looking grin. "Mama! For you!"  
  
Aya carefully extended her hand to recieve the gift. Her eyes widened in familiarity and shock as she realized what Miku had just placed in her open palm.   
  
"A shell..." she gasped as she stared at the small, white, scalloped seashell in her hand. She held it close to her heart and as tears once again began to sting at her eyes, she looked up at Miku and a sad and longing smile began to play on her lips. "Thank you... Miku-chan."  
  
The young child nodded innocently and abruptly turned around, solidly marching off to the sea's shore once more. "And next is Papa! Miku's gonna find him the most prettiest shell _ever_!" Her bright eyes glimmered in the rays of the sun for just a second; evanescent laugh disappating into the heated sky.  
  
***  
  
"At that time... I didn't understand why my tears had begun to overflow. I was happy, I was really truly happy... Now that I finally get why unconsciously, I had begun crying, it stabs at my heart. To replay that memory in my mind over and over again, it's so utterly painful. You knew, Tooya... You knew at that moment that you didn't have much longer to live, and just like an idiot, I avoided having to face the grim reality of it all, and I laughed. I was laughing at your pain... at your heartache. I wonder what you were feeling then? I didn't even bother asking. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever really understood you... I wonder if you ever got annoyed with a girl like me...?" Aya repeated her private thoughts aloud as she traced the jawline of Tooya's framed picture that she had placed on her table.   
  
***  
  
Tooya's physical condition had been deteriorating. Rapidly. Several doctors had come and gone and none of them had been able to do anything for Tooya. When one young doctor had had the nerve to tell Aya that she should begin to plot his grave and make funeral plans right away, she had literally thrown the man out of her home, screeching that he knew nothing and how she wondered why he'd been allowed to go into medicine in the first place, especially considering his blatant stupidity. All the results, however, had been the same. Every medical doctor that they had been to in the entire region had said the same thing: Tooya's cells were breaking down. They had thought it mysterious that such an ailment would strike a seemingly healthy young man, but of course Tooya had known better. He _was_ dying. All of his cells were slowly breaking down, eating itself. A victim to cruel fate and a child of destiny.  
  
It had been a beautiful sunny July day when Tooya had collapsed in their living room, breath coming in shallow and shuddering gasps. Although he had recovered from the episode immediately, the incident (and the fact that this had happened too many times before) had frightened Aya so much that she had swiftly made a run for the phone and called up the Aogiris. Within a few hours, Yuuhi, Suzumi, and even Q-san had hopped on the fasest train there and started to pound on their door with a fearful fury.  
  
Yuuhi had been a nervous wreck, spending half of his time threatening Tooya if he dared leave Aya like this and comforting Aya the other half. Aya on the other hand, had been sitting near Tooya's futon, a chilling blank look in her eyes. Her left hand was being clutched tightly by a Q-san who refused to leave Aya's side no matter what. Her right hand lay still, enterwined with Tooya's own. Hot. So very hot.  
  
Suzumi had made herself busy in the kitchen, preparing tea for the others while huge droplets of tears fell from her eyes. The pain of having to lose a loved one all too near. 'Kazuma-san... please watch over Aya--over us all--from heaven above. Kazuma-san...'  
  
Ten highly tense minutes had passed when Aya suddely stood up, startling Q-san and Yuuhi. She stared at Tooya's still body for a minute, his closed eyes covered with a thin sheen of sweat, his labored breathing, then slowly made her way to the door, step by step.  
  
"A-Aya! Where are you going?" Yuuhi seized Aya's wrist and turned her around halfway there. He jumped slightly when he saw the emptiness in her eyes.  
  
"Let me go." Her tone had promised something horrible unless he complied to her wish.  
  
"Aya-san," Q-san spoke up. "Shouldn't you be with Tooya-san at a time like this? Now more than ever he needs you."  
  
"Nothing's going to happen to Tooya. Stop talking rubbish," heartwrenchingly calm words. "You two... the two of you are in here acting as though someone's gonna _die_ or something. I can't stand it. I'm going to outside for some fresh air."  
  
Yuuhi's brows crossed in anger and confusion. "Go... out? You're kidding me, right?"  
  
A dry silence lingered in the room, broken only by Tooya's harsh breaths.  
  
"How can you even THINK about leaving at a time like this? Are you crazy? Can't you see that Tooya's going to _die_!! And you! YOU should be here by his side!!"  
  
From his view behind Aya, he could see her shoulders begin to hitch, slowly being aggravated to the point of uncontrollability.  
  
"... How can you say that, Yuuhi...? Aren't you my friend? How dare you say something like that to me..." And with that, she ran out of the room, pushing past Suzumi in the process and causing her to drop the tray of tea she had been carrying for the others.  
  
"Aya!" Yuuhi was hot on her heels as she slammed open the door and sped past it to the vastness of the ocean.  
  
***  
  
"And so I left you alone... To leave this world alone. How you must have been lonely... How you must have resented me for what I did..."  
  
Yuuhi sat against the wall near the door. He had been listening to her every word. Clinging to her every tear and memory. "He loved you," he answered her rhetorical question in a clear and powerful voice. "Aya, he loved you and you know it better than anyone else. He would have never left OR Miku of his own free will, and it isn't like you at all to doubt that for even a second."  
  
Aya smiled a private smile as she gripped the locket in her fist. "Yes... I know that now... Or I always did." She brought her precious object up to her lips as she placed a chaste kiss on the center, where the white dove lay embedded. 'You felt that too, didn't you, Tooya?'  
  
That night, Aya opened the heavy lid to her oak chest and carefully laid down her treasured photo of Tooya amongst the array of other pictures the three of them had managed to accumulate during their all-too brief years as a picture-perfect family.   
  
'It hurts to live with those memories... but I also don't want to lose a single moment that I shared with you, Tooya. And if that includes the painful memories... or the happy memories or even memories of the quick glances we shared... then so be it.  
  
'All of them, Tooya... All of our precious memories. We don't have to forget... we don't. I'll keep them safe in my heart for the both of us. Locked in the safety of my heart... Forever...'  
  
She stared once more at the picture, a sad yet somehow triumphant smile gracing her lips. She put both of her hands on top of the chest's lid and slowly brought it to a close.  
  
"Goodbye... Tooya..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Wow... and so FINALLY I conclude this chapter. I was actually working on it a loooong time ago but I just sort of forgot about it (sorry guys!). When I found the file again, I felt really really guilty for the people who left reviews (bless your li'l hearts) saying they wanted me to continue and so decided to try and do this again. It hasn't been _that_ hard because I was sorta in the mood to tell a story, or so to say.  
  
Anywho, this chapter is basically 2 memories Aya has. Hopefully it isn't _too_ confusing. I think everyone can tell where the memory flows into "present time," right? For those who are still confused after my lousy explanation, Aya's remembering her final "big" memory with Tooya (the one on the beach) and the one where he is dying/dies (I made it so that she wasn't there when he died... god I'm so EVIL!). The second memory is a sort of prequel for the end of the 4th chapter to my story. She ran out in tears when Yuuhi brought her back to reality and decided to have a look at the ocean while her beloved hubby was passing away. That accounts for her constant feeling of guilt and pain and yada yada yada. See? the angst and continual references to Tooya Tooya Tooya _were_ there for a reason. ^^; To tell the truth, this chapter kinda made me sad myself... And I'm the one who wrote it! Yeesh I'm so silly and sentimental sometimes. The chapter's a bit... _long_ but it's the conclusion (hopefully... *gulp*) to Aya's constant pain at the loss of Tooya so forgive me? Ne ne? =3*   
  
And finally, I'm _really_ sorry for teasing you Yuuhi x Aya fans like this (want a cookie?) but if you got the gist from the end, Aya bid her final farewell to Tooya and has decided to move on with her life (finally! After 4 chapters--or 5... since this chapter was angsty as well ^^;;;-- of pure angst!). Tooya would have wanted that, right (for those of us who finished the series...)? And no, I'm not going by the AnC novels (Miku no Gaiden or whatever it was called) because, well, I think they're crap. I hated them and felt that it just wanted to give AnC a happy-sappy ending (I felt that the manga's ending was p.e.r.f.e.c.t.) Saccharine overload. But if _you_ enjoyed them, more power to ya. ^_^ 


End file.
